February 2010
1 post
1 tag
formspring.me
Ask me anything http://formspring.me/xloserfishx
August 2009
1 post
fmylife:
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
July 2009
2 posts
fmylife:
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite “porn”. He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
Holy fuck.
saithis:
I just saw this ad - ‘driving on drugs. If you drive on drugs, you’re out of your mind.’
Holy shit. Basically, this guy is out with his wife, shares a joint with his mates etc, and then he and his wife get in the car. She’s all ‘are you sure you should be driving?’ and the end up pulling over to change drivers.
He opens his door, gets out, and a motherfucking car flies past and takes...
May 2009
65 posts
So, my room is half flooding
Nothing overly horrible… But still enough that I’m having to spend the night upstairs until we can get it looked at/hopefully fixed… However it’s still EXTREMELY annoying. It means I can’t be up until the early hours of the morning :( oh well. I just hope it can be fixed easily.
Gonna be posting some of my favourite classical...
Just cos I can
Chat with God. →
Human: what is your favourite sex position? God: I don’t have a favorite sex position. But my favorite book is The Bible. Human: the bible is dumb God: Do you believe there is only one interpretation? Human: i believe the bible is dumb God: Just because you believe it doesn’t make it true. Human: just like you, god! God: Interesting comparison. I didn’t think of that...
Chat with God. →
Human: i would like to have buttsex with you God: How much would you pay for it? Human:$10 God: Oh, you were born in the 20th century! Human: no, 19th actually God: Are you serious? Are we still talking about to have buttsex with me? Human: yes God: Sure, to have buttsex with you sounds like a good topic.
“In Perth they have people that walk the streets with anything detectors…...”
– Dylan Moran, QPAC, 17/05/09
“Who here’s been to Perth? Well you came back, didn’t you!”
– Dylan Moran, QPAC, 17/05/09
fmylife:
Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was “letting your man explore ALL your orifices.” FML
“He whisked off her shoes and panties in one movement, wild like an enraged...”
– Matthew Holness, as Garth Marenghi, in Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace
“We found out the mist was poisonous when two techies died. I don’t like to...”
– Richard Ayoade, as Dean Learner, in Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace
“It’s so hard to watch this episode, knowing that she’s now missing, presumed...”
– Richard Ayoade, as Dean Learner, in Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace
DAMMIT, I forgot one last thing.
saithis:
Bad guys are the smart ones.
When you have a gun, and have it pointed at the bad guy, don’t hesitate for a moment. Even if they are an ex-lover, brother, sister, cousin, mother, father, son, daughter - I don’t care, neither should you. Pull the bloody trigger. Do you think they’re going to hesitate in killing you? I don’t think so.
Show them the same courtesy they’d show you, and bow...
Off to work soon
For 7 hours :/
Truth:
saithis:
melodiesintheair:
growingup:
lindsaydinkins:
I hate licking the back of envelopes not because of the taste but because of the Urban Legend where that woman got spider eggs in her cheek from licking the back of an envelope.
Scary as hell.
SAME.
I heard cockroaches in her tounge. …does that mean it really is an urban ledgend? haha
I heard it was centipedes in her gums.
This...
Getting to know Tumbloggers.
Name: Josh Parsons
Nickname: Josh
Tumblr Name: xloserfishx
Age: 19
Birthday: July 12, 1989.
Location: Brisbane, Australia.
Current job: BWS (Beer, Wine, Spirits)
High school: Brisbane Boys’ College
Status: is up way too early.
Hobbies/Interests: Playing Soccer, following Everton, playing Xbox 360, Being generally nerdy.
Random fact about you: I have lived in 6 different houses in...
Getting to know Tumbloggers.
saithis:
Name: Matt
Nickname: Matt, Swinny, Swizz Tumblr Name: saithis Age: 21 Birthday: September 10 1987 Location: Sydney, Australia Current school/job: Telco engineer High school: St Patrick’s College, Sutherland
Status: hates his little green patch and is going to burn it with fire. Hobbies/Interests: Photography, tumblr. Random fact about you: I hate peas. (OH YES, I JUST DID...
fmylife:
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn’t understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
fmylife:
Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don’t have “a song”. Irritated, I told her that I’d put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and “It’s Not Fair” by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML
Lolol
